Waiting...

The Lord has done it this very day;

                 let us rejoice today and be glad.

                                                                      Psalm 118:24

                              

            Waiting…so much of life is about waiting. We could live in the waiting, always looking for the next thing, or we can embrace the moment.

            We left our house at 2am this last Monday, August 26^th, for our journey to Haiti. God provided friends willing to get up in the middle of the night to drive us there. Who needs sleep when you have friends, right Mark and Jen?

            God provided the beautiful smiling faces of friends to greet us in Haiti as well. Nathan, Melissa, Peterson, Annalisa. How blessed are we!

            But first, we had to wait…

            We waited months to come, we waited at the airline ticket counter in distress, hoping we could actually get on the plane (a story I’ll spare you, but if you want details let me know), we waited in Miami for a new battery for our plane…

Then, we arrived.

And waited.

For our first 4 days in Haiti, amidst all the love showered on us by our Haitian friends, I waited to feel like this could actually work.

For 4 days I lounged lethargically, begged my children to drink water, held them when they felt yucky, and prayed that God would bring sleep that just didn’t seem to want to come despite the exhaustion. I waited for Zeke to stop screaming and to actually eat food. I waited for the Cipro to kick in.

            Then, the light. I woke up and it lifted. I felt hope. I felt in my bones the truth I already knew, assured of God’s plan.  But I needed the waiting to get there. God didn’t have to offer me a feeling of hope, because hope and His plan are truth, regardless of my feelings But He did, because He knows our every individual need.

            So…off to the Market! Sydney picked up Macee and I yesterday for the market and the mache, or the indoor and the outdoor market. Macee and I marveled at the air-conditioned inside market.  We ogled the familiar American products, like Crystal Farms cheese of every kind (common at Chief back home, our local grocery store), passed on the apples at $3.00 for 2 and grapes for $5 a handful. We bought probiotic yogurt for lunch and hand sanitizer.

            The outdoor market was the bigger adventure. It was fun to buy fresh carrots from the top of someone’s head and haggle over the largest avacados I’ve ever seen in my life. 

So, this post is clearly not life changing, or even that deep, but the point is…the waiting is always for a purpose, for a season. It is His time, just as much as the fruit of our time in Haiti will be. I’m still waiting…waiting to be able to converse in Creole, waiting to start some programs, waiting for the kids to stop reminding me how hot it is. I’ll always be waiting this side of Heaven.

            But I’m also rejoicing. I’m dancing over the process and whatever He is forming in me along the way.

            This day, whatever it brings…this is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Malaria pills, Sensory Integration, and Claiming God's Promises

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
                                                         Matthew 19:26

     2 weeks and counting! It's malaria pill day! We tried sprinkling it in yogurt...

   

       Not so much! Yuck.

     Our sweet Zeke. We have been testing him to his limit, it seems! See Zeke has various sensory sensitivities. I could use the word disorder, but I avoid it. He doesn't need me to name it. He just needs me to understand it. 
     I can not thank enough the speech and occupational therapists that have worked with Zeke and I the last year. They are a gift from God, providing ideas, support, and most of all encouragement.
     We've been able to identify certain things Zeke just isn't able to deal with well...
         birds chirping and various nature noises
         groups of people chatting simultaneously
         eating (in general)
         different textures of bedding, clothes, chairs, you name it
         sitting with his legs dangling
    I could keep going, but it's a bit boring for you I'm sure. 
    So, let's take the extremely sensitive child and move him out of everything familiar. Oh wait, we haven't even done that yet! 
     And then I remembered these verses. Some of my favorites. Nothing is impossible with God. God may have been talking to the disciples. They may have been addressing the rich man entering heaven, but these verses I know were written for me. And for you!
     Nothing is impossible with God. In fact, God doesn't just promise that it's not impossible. He also promises that if it is of Him, then it's good. So I can be assured. Is our listening closely to God's Spirit and His call to go to Haiti (no matter how brief) of God? Is Zeke a beautiful, wonderful child of God? Then God will make it good. It may not look like the good I prefer, i.e. no stress, super easy and smooth, but it is Good...because it's God.
    So this afternoon Zeke finished his malaria yogurt in popsicle form, because that's what worked and God reminded me that He's got this all under control.
       
       

 

Packing, or my old friend...anxiety.

  

"For I know the plans I have for you, "
                                          declares the Lord...
                                                                         Jeremiah 29:11

     Why hello, old friend anxiety....I haven't seen you for awhile....
     Is NOT the correct response. The correct response being- "Get out. I don't like you. You are a lie. I've had enough of you in my life. I will not tolerate it. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
     Well, the even better, the best answer is - "God has a plan." He always does. And aren't His plans so much better?
      So much of our life is a bit uncertain right now. You can only plan and prepare so much, whether for Haiti, or for anything in life. In this lies the bane and the blessing. We can lay back and rest in God's arms, the creator of the universe, recognizing we were never in charge to begin with...or we can invite anxiety in for a party.  I vote, send my old friend packing. Telling him- no room in the inn. That place is already taken. You're too late Mr. Anxiety. My bags are packed and my traveling friend is called the Sustainer, the Comforter, the Guide.

     About 3 weeks and counting until we depart for Haiti. Packing has begun in earnest. 

   We are earnestly still seeking support financially. If anyone knows of Lutheran schools or Sunday Schools interested in a project for chapel and such - Please give them our name! If anyone can share our ministry in Haiti with their church- Thank you! Or if anyone desires to support us individually, fantastic! We have the basic amount we need to pay rent and buy food in Haiti, but really need more funds for ministry projects, especially for transportation and fuel to meet and visit with church leaders and ongoing ministries and organizations.
  
    Contributions can be sent to our church, St. Luke Lutheran Church, Wauseon, or through the Lutheran Church Charities website at the following link. Just scroll down to the Goehmanns in Haiti...
    Goehmanns in Haiti Fund at Lutheran Church Charities 

   I spend a lot of time reading, which I will never complain about. My stack of reading in preparation for Haiti runs the gamut from Women's counseling and spiritual care to ineffective NGOs and theories of oppression and poverty (graduate degree internship + ministry = interesting reading combinations)... throw in some cross-cultural crisis counseling texts and teen issues. 
   
All the while I pray- Lord, use me where ever, how ever, use me. 

I could prepare the day long, and never be prepared. That's just the nature of it. How many of you feel like that in your everyday life?

   That brings us back to square one. Anxiety, you may not attend this party. Let's hold one another up in prayer, handing it over to the One who is Peace.

   

    

Father to the Fatherless

Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.                        

                                                    Isaiah 1:17

     

     

      I love babies. Love them! I love children, I love teenagers, I love kids of all ages. It's no secret. I like to love on them and hug on them and sing and dance uninhibited with them; I love to share the giggles, and to share the fresh joys and pains of the middle school and teen years. 

      I love old people too, and all of us in between, but God has created a special place in my heart for little ones, even those who wouldn't admit that they're still little in the scheme of things.

      This verse from Isaiah has also always had a special place in my heart. 

             Learn to do right.

             Seek justice.

             Defend the oppressed.

             Take up the cause of the fatherless;

             plead the case of the widow.

     I thought for so long that it was just the deaconess-y, social work part of myself that it spoke to, and then this Father's Day it dawned on me:

     I was the fatherless. 

    My father died when I was less than two years old. I myself, being young, was spared the grief of loss. It was my mom and I for a while. I was so little. Life was pretty good, we did have people we loved and who loved us, but every girl longs for a father...a protector, a lap to cry on, a monster-chaser, and a bear hugger.

     And so he chose us. My mom met Roy. I should say- my mom met Dad. He was sent by God. He never thought twice. He chose to be a father to the fatherless. I sat on his lap and was officially adopted when I was 5. 

     He gave me sisters...that life wouldn't be half as wonderful without. 

     He gave me confidence...in knowing I was not only loved, but treasured; and to seek that in the one God chose for me to spend life with.

     He gave of himself...in a way that spoke and poured Christ's mercy and sacrifice into my heart, a way no one else could have.

    So, my Dad. He is the one who taught me to snuggle on the babies. But he also taught me to love the fatherless. To seek out those in need. To plead the case of the widow. 

    That is so often how God's love overflows. God, who is my Father, my helper, my savior. He speaks through me, He speaks through my dad, He speaks through each of you. Find the oppressed. It's not hard, look around, they're everywhere. 

    Hug the orphaned and the fatherless; be Christ's arms to them. Treasure the widow and uphold God's awesome purposes He still has for their life. Eat up Christ's love for you...His sacrifice for you, and rejoice that you may rest in His strong outstretched arms.

    Haiti isn't the only place with orphans and widows, those in need, those struggling for love and hope. But it is the place we have been called for this time. I'll miss my family for the 200+ days we'll be in Haiti, but I can't wait to pass on, in such an awesome way, what has been given to me through them. 

    Babies, widows, wonderful people of Haiti- we can't wait to see you! :)

   

This is my Dad. As you can see, I'm a big fan. :)

     

Laborers of Love

...your labor prompted by love...

                                                 1 Thessalonians 1:3

    
               "We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor 
                 prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."

    I'll admit it. I've needed some love. I'm a big believer in the seasons of life, some wonderful, some slightly darker, all of them good gifts from the Lord. This season of preparing for Haiti has been both a mountaintop experience of faith, and one of the loneliest times in my life. I'm stressed. Not tearing my hair out stressed, but the ocean churns internally. You know the feeling. Apprehension, anxiety, the struggle. I've told Satan more than once that He can not have my joy, it's not his to steal.
     And what do you say to people- "So, by the way, I'm uber grateful for this opportunity from the Lord, and I can't wait to go and serve, but in the meantime, I'm not doing so hot. I need a hug, maybe twelve. Can you help me?"
    It's a struggle, preparation. And if we're honest, much of life is just that - a struggle. 
    

     But then you add in love... 

                               and oh, how sweet the struggle.

Nothing God does in our lives is ever minus love. Christ never operated outside the framework of love, nor were we meant to. 

     God labored to create a world with words of love, cradling it and molding it in two God-shaped hands.  
      Christ gave His labor of amazing Love on the cross to give us Life and Freedom, and Peace, and Hope, and sweet, glorious Joy. All those things that feel so often like they rest just outside of our grasp, until we Know Him.
      Life is struggle, but isn't it sweet with love. Recently I was reminded that I do not labor alone. I was never intended too. God gave us Love, in the form of people called the Church, the Body, Dearly Beloved.  

I needed some love in the struggle and God sent it. Of course it was there before my eyes, but God sent me an extra dose. Laborers prompted to share their Love, share their hugs, share the struggle.

My mom used to tell me that anything worth doing is going to most likely be a bit of a struggle. I'm so thankful my struggle includes Christ and His precious people. I'd never trade this sweet Labor of Love for anything.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane...

...He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.
                                                                 Psalm 121:7b-8

     August 26 it is!

Jonah had a rough week to say the least. No matter what we did, he was discontent, whiny and unhappy. I was perplexed. He's normally a pretty easy child to please. Throw him in a room with some legos and we're good to go. 
     
But what are you going to do? There are 3 other children to take care of, life moves ahead. We asked him if something was bothering him, but got nothing. So, we went about our business. 

Then, as we're riding in the van to go visit friends, the back seat burst forth - 
        "What if the plane crashes, what if we fly into the ocean,
                           what if, Mom??!!! What if...??!!"

Oh, Jonah.  My heart hears and understands. Jonah has flown before, in his wee toddler years, but I'm sure he doesn't remember, nor does it even matter. New things are scary, whether you are 8 or 98. And we're introducing a whole lot of new into their little lives. So, I respond in honesty...
 
 "God's already there, Jonah. I don't think our plane will crash, 
                                                     but even if it did. God's already there." 

     He sat back, "August 26th, huh?" "Yep, August 26th." 
      
We arrived at our destination and the conversation was forgotten. 
Then this week I went to check Jonah's grammar. The assignment, evidentally, was to create commands out of these words...love, read, take, help, and stand. This is what Jonah came up with...

Oh little man! I love how God works in you! Resolve. I like it. God has a plan and a purpose. So it is, we have a date with an airplane to Haiti. August 26th, 6am, Detroit Metro Airport. 

Preparing...

Wear sandals,
                 but not an extra shirt. Mark 6:9

I admit it...I'm a bit freaked out. A little over 3 months and we'll be in Haiti. Praise the Lord, right?! After all this waiting and waiting, we'll be there, living and working, making friends to cry and laugh with, trying to figure out what peppers are hot, when the water is the warmest, and how on earth to do anything of lasting value...

There it is, the question that has me rolling over at night, praying aloud -
  "Are you sure, God? What in the world do we even have to offer?"

I read books and blogs, I watch documentaries, I study social work articles until everything is a blur. I feel so unprepared...

My daily litany is "Lord, How am I supposed to do anything of impact? How are we supposed to make a dent of difference in even one person's life in 8 short months?"
 
Then I came to grips with it...Reality.

            Who knows what we'll do. We'll share Christ. We'll smile and laugh, be frustrated, and exasperated, we'll cry...with brothers and sisters a world away who open themselves up to sharing life with us. We'll try to teach, but we'll be taught. We'll support, but be built up.

I can prepare and prepare, but what I'm really called to do is share.  
                                  God knows what we'll do. That's enough.

So instead of preparing this week. We jumped in. I read this verse from Mark in bible study and God spoke to my Spirit. We had enough money in our bank account for 6 one-way tickets to Haiti, so we bought them. I put on my sandals, metaphorically speaking, instead of worrying about the extra shirt.

I'm enough for those God puts in my life, because He is enough. We'll support and guide, and build up our Haitian brothers and sisters, we'll blunder and fall flat on our face, but He'll  make it beautiful.

Who are you called to share with in this life? Strap on those sandals. Jump in.  
                                                                           He's always enough.